Finding it hard...

to be happy.

Isn't that pathetic? I'm thrilled about this pregnancy but the reactions of other people are just making it so hard to be happy about it. It's almost enough to drive me to a PP office. Not that I'd EVER do that, but goodness I'm so sick of the stress and the drama...

No one outside of Josh and I are even remotely happy about this. People pop out kids when they aren't married, don't have a SO to help them...are living with their parents and that's GREAT!! YAY a BABY.

But Josh and I? Married? Check. Good job? Check? Living on our own? Check. Supporting our own family? Check. Raising our kids ON OUR OWN. We never ask ANYONE to babysit for us except on the rare occasion I have a wedding/funeral/dr appt or whatever...so ya know less than once a month. Our kids are with out 24/7. Check.

But all the sudden WE have no business having a child.

I realize Josh is having a kidney transplant at the end of the month. This is not a fact that has escaped my attention. Nor has the fact that we'll have SIX FUCKING MONTHS between transplant and arrival of baby. SIX MONTHS to get Josh healed and get things together. SIX MONTHS. That's more than enough time. It's not like the transplant is July 28th and the baby will be here August 6th. If that were the case I could see the cause for alarm. But six months? That's a long ass time.

I'm just sick of everyone.

We haven't even told 98% of our family because we just don't want to deal with the drama and the lectures.

I'm at the point now where I'm going to say We're HAPPY about this pregnancy. If you want to be negative keep your fucking opinion to yourself or be prepared to be cut out of our lives forever. And I'm dead serious. If people cannot celebrate this baby in utero they have no business being all baby crazy once it's born. And I would to. I have no qualms about cutting (toxic) family out of our lives, couldn't care less.